Sitting in the Snow or ?Why Did My Baby Leave Me? Tired of wandering, I sat down in the snow to wonder. Am I cold because of the weather or because she left me? Do our actions dictate the rate of wind? The percent of snowfall? The slickness of ice collecting in the heart? I do not feel justified in holding her responsible for her retreat, but I wish I knew who to blame. Certainly, not me. I’m a pebble hidden in a snowstorm. A grain of grime in the crack of a sidewalk covered in ice. A sigh carried on the biting breeze. When she still held me, she filled my soul with purpose and with determination. When she still gripped by hand, she released it to find a future where she figured foremost. When she still showed me books on design, we made mental plans of the house we would someday inhabit. When she still looked upon my face and smiled, I saw the rest of the world through a lens of peace and satisfaction. I remember we had a picnic. I had packed it myself. Tuna fish sandwiches, made from just tuna - no dolphins. Also in the basket laid potato chips and some oranges. Organic and from the farmer’s market, respectively. We went to a nice wooded park, chose a secluded hill, spread out the blanket and sat down. We ate. I started to brush her hair with my fingers. Weaving my hands into her soft blonde locks. Hoping to join my hopes with her comfort, I was about to tell her how much she meant to me when all of a sudden out of the woods lumbered Frankenstein’s monster. He groaned a bit as he walked, his left foot dragged a bit behind his right. His pace was labored and his face looked troubled. Also, he was hideous. I jumped back, jaw agape, unable to move. My love screamed and screamed and screamed, clutching the basket like a shield. The monster walked by. He didn’t pay us any attention. Wandered right over the edge of the blanket nearest the open bag of chips. She kept screaming long after he disappeared into the woods. After a couple hours when the sun began to sink, I packed up our stuff and loaded her into the car. We didn’t speak about what happened the entire drive to her house. She continued to scream. A few days later we went to the movies. When she still believed that I would always provide for her, we would go to the theater every weekend. When she still believed that I could always protect her, we might see a movie on Friday night and on Sunday afternoon. We would hold hands, our fingers writing phrases of love in each other’s palms. But this time she only looked at me if I stood in front of her. Her neck did not move to receive my kisses. Her head did not turn to hear my compliments. We never talked about seeing Frankenstein’s monster. After the movie, she left. Will I ever learn the reason for her sudden departure? Will I ever know the answer to why my evenings are spent examining the ceiling above my bed? Will I ever understand how perfect happiness can be so quickly eroded through no apparent fault of our own? I am lonely. I am cold. And the snow is wet against my bottom.

The rice cooker needs power but the outlet is blocked behind recycling a week old. Pizza is faster but value matches difficulty. And patience brings character but only after waiting far far far too long. Music makes emotion but cheats the build of feeling. Who has time to explore the heart? Blessed me I'm blessed with you who knows what makes my joy without pressing play. Or fulling, fooling, filling up.

All I want to do is drink my coffee Put it in a cup and bring it to me Don't you know that I'm sleepy? All I want to do is drink my coffee In the morning it makes me happy Thank you thank you my love for bringing me coffee when I wake up.

You can write me a letter You can call on the phone But it's like cheap toilet paper I wish you'd just come home You can text me a message You can chat my work email But it's like tomatoes out of season I 'd rather have you in my arms right now! So come home! So come home! Let me brush your hair I'll cook dinner I've cleaned up the house I've done all the chores You can sit and feel loved And I won't feel alone